The confines of the LDS church

As my tale draws to a close for now, where does it leave me? To find the answer to that, we must return to the beginning. Pages ago, when I started describing this journey I related my worldview at that earlier time. I stated that I held a very black-and-white, literalist viewpoint. This approach would serve me well within the confines of the LDS church.

As my story has unfolded, my worldview has changed dramatically. I have considered the legendary aspects of church doctrine and history. I have discovered a church history that varies dramatically from the official story, but is also much richer. I have re-imagined many of the things I formerly thought I knew and teased out mythic meanings.

I have discovered that these approaches are not welcome or appreciated within the LDS church. An apostle recently stated that there are those who might dig up negative things that Joseph Smith said or did and that those people that do so will be punished. Not long ago, the church president stated that either Joseph Smith was a prophet who translated The Book of Mormon or else it is all false. Personally, I find the question much deeper and more involved than that. However, under such pronouncements, where does one who considers The Book of Mormon mythic yet nonhistorical find a place in the church? I perceive that the majority of active church members seem to find comfort in the literalist, black-and-white view. As such, I have no desire of ripping from them that which they seek in order that I might obtain that which I seek.

I find no place within the church for the approaches to which I have been guided. When attending LDS meetings, rather than feeling uplifted, I feel confined. I feel constrained to fit into a predetermined mold into which I can no longer fit.

I find that I must continue my journey outside the confines of the LDS church. Yet another transition, which I am sure is not the last.

 

For now, this concludes this portion of my story. Long it has been, yet it is but a condensed telling, abbreviated from many other things. It represents truth as I have seen it, but I know not whether you have glimpsed any truth cloaked within or have just been along for the ride.